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Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
Fussiness about food is a normal part of a child’s development. Young children are naturally neophobic — they have a distrust of the new. Even the most determined parents can be cowed by a child’s resolve to eat nothing rather than try something new. As a result, parents often give in, deciding that a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or a Pop-Tart, while not ideal, must be better than no food at all.
“I think parents feel like it’s their job to just make their children eat something,” Ms. Worobey said. “But it’s really their job to serve a variety of healthy foods and get their children exposed to foods.”
The immediate problem which arises is how to encourage the children to taste new food. Given below are simple steps which will encourage children to go in for new food.
1. Ask the children to help you in preparing food: Sending children out of the kitchen does not help the parents in any way. With hot stoves, boiling water and sharp knives at hand, parents don’t want children in the kitchen when they’re making dinner. But studies reveal the opposite. Children who help in preparing meals are often open in trying new foods than those who don’t.
2. Don’t put pressure on children to take a bite: Demanding that a child eat at least one bite of everything seems reasonable, but it’s likely to backfire. Studies show that children react negatively when parents pressure them to eat foods, even if the pressure offers a reward. We very often see parents saying things like ‘eat your vegetables and you can watch TV,’ but it does not work. You may encourage the child to eat in the short run, but in the long run, they will be less likely to eat those foods.
Instead it will be better if you put the food on the table and encourage a child to try it. If the child refuses do not complain and do not praise if the child tastes it. Try to stay neutral.
3. Keeping ‘good stuff’ out of reach: Parents worry that children will binge on treats, so they often put them out of sight or on a high shelf. This act of the parents increases the want of having such food among the children. Studies reveal that children whose food is highly restricted at home are far more likely to binge when they have access to those forbidden foods. So instead of bringing restricted food and keeping them out of reach of children, its better to bring healthful snacks and give children free access to the food cabinets.
4. Food habit of the parent: Kids are generally tuned into their parents’ eating preferences and are far more likely to try foods if they see their mother or father eating them. If the parents are open to taste new food the children will also taste it.
5. Dress up the vegetables: Calorie-counting parents often serve plain steamed vegetables, so it’s no wonder children are reluctant to eat them. Nutritionists say parents shouldn’t be afraid to dress up the vegetables. Adding a little butter, ranch dressing, cheese sauce or brown sugar to a vegetable dish can significantly improve its kid appeal. And adding a little fat to vegetables helps unlock their fat-soluble nutrients. The few extra calories you’re adding are a worthwhile tradeoff for the nutritional boost and the chance to introduce a child to a vegetable.
6. Giving up too soon: Eating preferences keeps on changing among children. So parents should keep preparing a variety of healthful foods and putting them on the table, even if a child refuses to take a bite. In young children, it may take 10 or more attempts over several months to introduce a food. Sibling dynamics and friendships can also change a child’s eating habits. Once a food is accepted, parents should use “food bridges,” finding similarly colored or flavored foods to expand the variety of foods a child will eat. If a child likes pumpkin pie, for instance, try mashed sweet potatoes and then mashed carrots. If a child loves corn, try mixing in a few peas or carrots. Even if a child picks them out, the exposure to the new food is what counts.
Tags: diet, healthy food
Posted in Parenting | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011
Teenage depression is not just bad moods and occasional melancholy. Depression is a serious problem which can destroy the very essence of a teenager’s personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger. If left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing-even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide.
There are as many misconceptions about teen depression as there are about teenagers in general. Yes, the teen years are tough, but most teens balance the requisite angst with good friendships, success in school or outside activities, and the development of a strong sense of self.
Whether the incidence of teen depression is actually increasing, or we’re just becoming more aware of it, the fact remains that depression strikes teenagers far more often than most people think. And although depression is highly treatable, experts say only 1 in 5 depressed teens receive help. While the adults have the ability to seek assistance on their own, teenagers usually rely on parents, teachers, or other caregivers to recognize their suffering and get them the treatment they need. So if you have an adolescent in your life, it’s important to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you spot the warning signs.
Signs of Depression:
Teen depression comes in many forms, not all of which are easily recognizable to parents or teens themselves. For some teens, depression can manifest as anger and irritability, while others may display symptoms like apathy, avoidance or isolation.
The following are some of the most common warning signs of teen depression:
- Apathy
- Complaints of pain (headaches/stomachache/low back pain)
- Lack of concentration
- Incapable of decision making
- Excessive or inappropriate guilt
- Irresponsible behavior like being late for school
- Loss of interest in food or overeating resulting in weight gain or loss
- Rebellious behavior
- Feeling hopeless
- Withdrawal from friends
- Improper sleeping habits
- Over reaction to criticism
- Constantly thinking about death or suicide
Effects of teen depression
The negative effects of teenage depression go far beyond a melancholy mood. Many rebellious and unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers are actually indications of depression. The following are some the ways in which teens “act out” or “act in” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain: ” Depression may lead to lack in concentration. This may result in drop down of grades in the school and feel frustrated with the school work and studies.
- Many depressed teens talk about running away from house or actually do it.
- Some teens may develop the habit of drinking. They may use alcohol or charas in an attempt to self medicate their depression. But this only worsens their condition.
- Teens having depression generally have low self esteem and feel worthless and incapable of doing things.
- Teens with depression may find solace by going online. But excessive computer use only increases their isolation and makes them more depressed.
- Some depressed teens may engage in high-risk behaviors, such as reckless driving, out-of-control drinking, and unsafe sex.
- Some depressed Teens may become extremely violent and may indulge in taking lives.
Causes for depression in Teens:
There are many reasons for a teenager to go into depression.Some of them are
- A family history of depression
- A history of substance abuse
- Certain medical conditions
- Certain types of personalities
- Physical factors
- Stressful life events.
- Stress from school.
- A death in the family.
- Isolation
- Effects of hormones(generally found in girls)
- Teen depression is also associated with a number of other mental health problems, including eating disorders and self-injury
Parent’s role:
Though there are many reasons teens become depressed, a disconnection from their parents is a common contributor. This disconnect is often at the root of the withdrawal and isolation that are characteristic of teen depression, as teens have given up on developing a tight bond with their parents and others.
Like adults, teens need to feel heard. As a parent you can help your children by spending quality time with them, listening actively to what they have to say and showing their child that they enjoy their time together.”
In addition to spending time together and having fun as a family, it is important for you to talk to your teens about what’s happening at school and with friends. You should also discuss the effects of substance abuse and how it relates to depression.
Christensen, an expert on depression, also encourages parents to ask themselves how they may be contributing to their child’s depression or other emotional and behavioral issues. Sometimes parents aren’t managing their own emotions well or are losing control in their interactions with their child, which sets a poor example
Treatment for Teen Depression:
Some of the effective treatments for teen depression are:
Talk Therapy. It is the traditional therapy and does wonders for some teens, but the adolescent needs to view therapy as a resource, not an obligation they have to satisfy one hour a week. Teens who are resistant to treatment, aren’t making progress or are skipping therapy sessions altogether usually need a more intensive intervention.
Wilderness Therapy for Depression: In wilderness therapy, teens work through their emotions and negative behaviors 24 hours a day, with guidance from a team of therapists, field instructors and peers. Teens quickly reveal who they are and what they’re struggling with, which allows the staff to make progress more quickly than in traditional therapeutic environments. The staff can then invite parents and other family members into the therapeutic process to work on developing stronger relationships and a healthier home life.
By spending quiet time with themselves in the wilderness, away from the distractions of television, computers and cell phones, teens have a rare opportunity to figure out who they want to be. Their experiences in the wilderness help them discover their passions and their ability to overcome challenges and achieve success in every area of their lives.
Natural remedies to Teen Depression:
- Increase physical exercise.
- Get adequate, regular sleep.
- Expose yourself to sunlight.
- Help others. Volunteering takes your mind off your own problems while helping you feel good about yourself.
Tags: bad moods, despair, teens
Posted in Parenting | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 12th, 2011
Discipline means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct or order. In the field of child development, discipline refers to methods of modeling character and of teaching self-control and acceptable behavior. All parents struggle with disciplining their child –establishing and enforcing limits and getting their kids to speak to them respectfully and do what they’re supposed to do. But discipline isn’t only about correction. It’s also about teaching kids to control themselves and care about others so they can grow up to be productive members of society.
Helping children develop good manners involves being thoughtful and considerate parents, Manners cannot be taught in the same way as history or geography. It is something that is built up over a period of time
Some tips which will help you to develop a good behavior in your child are discussed below:
1. Be Firm
Set reasonable limits, and explain and enforce them.
2. Be Consistent
Be consistent in what you say and do. Never allow your child to do one thing at a time and scold for the same thing when he does it the other time.
3. Try to find out the reason for the misbehavior
If your child behaves indifferently, try to find out the reason for his misbehavior and not take any action with out any thought. For example if he overturns his meals instead of spanking him or shouting at him try to find out why he has done this. May be he is not hungry or is not feeling well!
4. Give Choices
Kathryn Kvols, author of Redirecting Children’s Behavior (Parenting Press, 1997), suggests, for example, that if your child is yanking all the books off a shelf in the living room, you say, “Would you like to stop knocking the books off the shelf or would you like to go to your room?” If he ignores you, gently but firmly lead the child to his room and tell him he can come back into the living room when he’s ready to listen to you
5. Do not give warnings
Never take this habit of giving warning. If you give warnings for 4 times regularly and then take action, your child will develop a habit of listening to you only after 4 times you ask him to do or not to do some thing.
6. Link Consequences Directly to Problem Behavior
If you take some action against him for some of his action , it must be taken immediately. Not at the end of the day.
7. No Banking
If you’re imposing punishments or consequences, do it immediately. You can’t punish a child at the end of the day for something (or a bunch of things) he did earlier – he won’t associate the undesirable action and its consequence.
8. Keep It Short
Once the punishment is over (and whatever it is it shouldn’t last any more than a minute per year of age), get back to your life. There’s no need to review, summarize or make sure the child got the point.
9. Stay Calm
Screaming, ranting or raving can easily cross the line into verbal abuse that can do long-term damage to your child’s self-esteem.
10. Get Down to Your Child’s Level
When you’re talking to your child, especially to criticize, kneel or sit. You’ll still be big enough that he’ll know who the boss is.
11. Don’t Lecture
Instead, ask questions to engage the child in a discussion of the problematic behavior: “Is smoking cigars OK for kids or not?” “Do you like it when someone pushes you down in the park?”
12. Criticize the Behavior, Not the Child
Even such seemingly innocuous comments as “I’ve told you a thousand times,” or “Every single time you …” gives the child the message that he’s doomed to disappoint you no matter what he does.
13. Reinforce Positive Behavior
We spend so much time criticizing the negatives and not enough time complimenting the positives. Heartfelt comments like, “I’m so proud of you when I see you cleaning up your toys,” go a long way.
14. Play Games
“Let’s see who can put the most toys away,” and “I bet I can put my shoes on before you can” are big favorites. But be sure not to put away more toys or to put your shoes on first – kids under age 5 have a tough time losing.
15. Avoid Tantrums
Learn to recognize the things that trigger your child’s tantrums. The most common triggers include exhaustion, overstimulation, hunger and illness. Keeping those factors to a minimum will go a long way toward reducing tantrums.
16. No Spanking
It’s bad for the kids and bad for you. Children who get spanked are more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and depression. They’re also more likely to believe that it’s OK to hit other people when they’re mad. After all, you do.
17. No Shaking
It may seem like a less violent way of expressing your frustrations than spanking, but it really isn’t. Shaking your baby can make his little brain rattle around inside his skull, resulting in brain damage.
18. No Bribes
It’s tempting to pay a child off to get him to do or not do something. But the risk – and it’s a big one – is that he will demand some kind of payment before complying with just about anything.
19. Be a Grown-up
Biting your child or pulling his hair to demonstrate that biting or hitting is wrong or doesn’t feel good will backfire – guaranteed.
20. Offer Cheese With That Whine
Tell your child that you simply don’t respond to whining and that you won’t give him what he wants until he asks in a nice way – and stick with it.
21. Set a Good Example
If your child sees you and your partner arguing without violence, he’ll learn to do the same. If he sees you flouting authority by running red lights, he’ll do the same.
Above all, make sure you understand your child. Trying to discipline him without understanding why he’s doing what he’s doing is a little like taking cough syrup for emphysema – the thing that’s bugging you goes away for a while, but the underlying problem remains and keeps getting worse with time. The most direct way to solve this is to simply ask your child what’s going on and why he’s acting the way he is. In many cases, he’ll tell you. If he won’t tell you or doesn’t have the vocabulary to do so, make an educated guess such as, “Are you writing on the walls because you want me to spend more time with you?”
Tags: behavior, discipline
Posted in Parenting | 1 Comment »
Thursday, July 28th, 2011
Behavior refers to the actions of a system or organism, usually in relation to its environment, which includes the other systems or organisms around as well as the physical environment.
If a child is not behaving properly who is to be held responsible? It is of course the parent. Some common mistakes that the parent do while looking into the behavior of the child are discussed below:
1. Thinking bad behavior to be just a phase which will go away in due time :
Bad behaviors don’t go away. They almost always need parental intervention. If the parents wait for a longer time, then the behavior will become a habit. So don’t call it a phase: Stop the bad behavior as soon as it starts.
2. Not being a role model:
Parents’ behavior has an enormous influence on kids’ behavior. After all, what the children see is what they copy. So before parents start planning to change their kid’s behavior, they need to take a serious look at their own.
3. Instead of targeting the wrong behavior, talking in general terms:
Generally we find parent saying “He’s not behaving properly”. This is not the way to say. Instead of being general, it is always better to point out the action which needs rectification like “he is shouting back” or “he is lying”. It’s best to work on improving one or two – behaviors at a time.
4. No proper plan to stop the bad behavior:
Once the bad behavior is identified, the parent should prepare a solid plan to stop it. The plan must (1) address the kid’s bad behavior, (2) state exactly how to correct it, (3) identify the new behavior to replace it and (4) have a set consequence if the bad behavior continues.
5. Not teaching a substitute behavior:
No behavior will change permanently unless the child is taught a new behavior to replace it. Think about it: If you tell a kid to stop doing one behavior, what will he do instead? Without a substitute behavior, chances are the child will revert to using the old misbehavior.
6. Not sticking to the plan long enough:
Learning new behavior habits is easier said than done. It generally takes a minimum of 21 days of repetition. Parents need to commit to changing the bad behavior and then continue using the plan for at least three weeks. Only then will they see change.
Look out for how to change the bad behavior in your child in our next article.
Tags: behavior, discipline
Posted in Parenting | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011
Every parent would like their child to proudly say that “My parents are the best parents in the world!” Every parent would love to know how they can be better parents to their precious children. Good parenting skills will help to develop a great relationship between you and your children. Good parenting is also important to help your children grow into confident and well-adjusted individuals.
Parenting is not easy and at the same time not so difficult. These are some tips which will help to make the journey smoother and easier. These tips are not addressing a specific problem, they are just certain guidelines. These are general parenting tips which you can apply in your everyday life while bringing up the kids.
1. Spend more time with your children: Your child is not going to remain young always. Time will fly away and he will soon be in his teens. Once they have attained the teenage they will be busy and have less time for you. While on the other hand the childhood time is the time when you can spend maximum amount of time with your child and grow close to him. Try to collect as many memorable incidents with him during that time. You will surely relish thinking of it later!
2. Try to think from the child’s point of view: If you are at any point of time irritated due to his demands or questions, just spare a moment and put yourself in his shoes. Come down to his imagination and reasoning level. Then you will be surprised to find that his demands are quite natural .You can even try and remember what you used to do when you were of that age! This will melt away your irritation!
3. Develop the right eating habits at a very early age: Make it a point to feed your child with the right food from the very early age. If your children eat healthy foods right from a young age, then it is likely that the habit will continue till adulthood. Thus you can ensure that your child grows into a well nourished adult.
4. Have a family time: In this very busy world we see that even the family members do not have time for one another. So make it a point to have at least one meal together as a family. This is so because you can do something together as a family. If this is not possible fix some 15 minutes during which the whole family plays together or chant bhajans together. This will strengthen the bond between you and your children!
5. Make your children Independent: Do not try to do everything needed by your child. For example let him make his own bed or pack his school bag and thing like this right from early childhood. This will help him to be independent. Making your child do a little cleaning of the house, folding of clothes, and washing dishes, etc will help him to learn basic life skills which everybody needs to know.
6. Do not try to impose things on your child: Ask their opinion on simpler and small affairs of the household matters. This will develop the decision making capacity of your child and he will also feel important.
7. Teach your child to be polite: Be a good listener. When your child speaks, listen to him so that he knows that when you speak he ought to listen. Whenever he interrupts your conversation, instead of being aggressive, tell him very politely that he has to wait for you to finish. If you want your child to learn manners, you have to follow them yourself. Try to use words like “Excuse Me”, “Thank You” “Sorry” while speaking to him so that he gets into the habit of using them!
8. Help your Child to overcome the fear of failure: If at any point of time your child is at the failure side, instead of scolding him or punishing him and using the phrases “I knew you will not be able to do it” or “You are fit for nothing”, try to encourage him to succeed. Let him understand that failure is the stepping stone for success! Encourage him to face the situation again and guide him so that he attains success. This will indirectly boast his confidence level which will be required in the later part of his life.
Tags: Parenting Skill
Posted in Parenting | 7 Comments »
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
Teenage is the transitional stage of development from child to adult. This is the time when there are dramatic changes in body, psychology and academic career. In the onset of adolescence, children usually complete elementary school and enter secondary education, such as middle school or high school.
In lay man’s words A teenager or teen is a person whose age is a number ending in “-teen” in the English language: that is to say, someone from the age of thirteen to the age of nineteen.
Parents with teenage children should be very careful while handling them. It is because this is the period when the children tend to think they are grown up and capable of handling things by themselves but actually they aren’t.
Many parents consider the term teenage parenting as imposing strict control and discipline on their children. This is not the right approach of parenting. Each and every parent have to give sufficient room for the balanced growth of the children at every stage, even during adolescence.
The teenager should be guided in such a way that he matures into responsible adult. Each and every parent should understand that teen years are the most difficult years in a child’s life. It is a stage when he feels excluded from the world of children and also from the world of adults. If not handled properly during this stage then the child may very easily move in the direction of destruction like depression or taking drugs!
The teen mind is a mystery to most parents. This fact comes as a surprise because the parent has himself been a teenager once. As a parent you will very often see that your teenage child has mood swings, throws tantrums and wants to be isolated from every one.
As a parent you should take his frequent mood swings as a natural phenomenon. This mood swings is due to the changes taking place in the hormones and you should accept the fact that your child is being transformed both physically and mentally.
Points to Follow while parenting a Teenager:
- Talk with your child. Find out what`s happening in his life. Be honest and open with him. He should talk about his problems or write them down. Teach him to transfer coping strategies to other situations.
- Don`t burden them with your problems. But, tell children about the family’s goals and discuss difficulties in a friendly manner.
- Compliment children when they do well.
- Use humor to buffer bad feelings and situations. A child who learns to use humor himself will be better able to keep things in perspective.
- Don’t overload your child with too many after-school activities and responsibilities. Let children learn to pace themselves. Don’t enroll them in every class that comes along, and don’t expect them to be first in everything.
- Set a good example. Demonstrate self-control and coping skills. He can benefit by seeing how you cope successfully with stress.
- Develop a friendly relation with your teenage child. He should feel secure in your company. He should also be able to speak out his heart’s feelings in your presence.
- Get friends` or professional help when problems seem beyond your skills.
- Communicate: To communicate with a teenage child is easier said than done. Communication involves both listening and talking. It calls for more than just getting the teenager to tell parents her secrets or do what they want her to do. The purpose of open communication is for parent and child to be able to talk to each other about a variety of topics over a long period of time. As a parent you should not judge your child if they disagree with you. You should not even get angry with them.
- Build Self Esteem: Many teenagers have a very low self-esteem. As a parent, you should be very positive and establish positive energy within the household.
Tags: Adolescence
Posted in Parenting | 11 Comments »
Saturday, December 4th, 2010
Even today, parents find it difficult to talk about sex with their children. They(parents) feel that talking about sex with their children will lead them(children) in the wrong path.
Actually the parents are the best friends of their children and are in a position to talk freely and explain clearly about sex with their children. If the parents do not do this, the eager children will try to find other means to get knowledge about it. If they try to get it from other sources, they will end up getting half knowledge or improper knowledge. It is said that half knowledge is very dangerous when compared to no knowledge.
When to have sex talk with kids:
There is no such age limit as when the sex education should be imparted to the children. Even if a 4 year old child asks you a question related to sex instead of scolding him, try to explain it in a plain language which he is able to understand at his age. You can add “Rest of it you will understand when you grow up.”
How to talk about sex with children?
As a parent you will have to face a barrage of question from your child at any given point of time. You may also feel embarrassed at some point of time with a question put forth by the child. But all their queries must be tactfully addressed by you keeping in mind their age.Keep the following points in mind while discussing sex with your children.
Be Clear and Candid: As a parent, you should be very clear in mind as how much and what should a child know about sex and sexuality. If he is in the childhood days, you should teach him or her about their privacy regarding their sex organs . You can also teach him on locking the door while dressing up. If he is an adolescent, you should brief him about the changes that occur in his physique and behavior. In the adolescent period, it is necessary to talk with the children about the diseases connected with the sex (like AIDS,STA)
No Pride No Shame: Sexuality is a very important facet in anyone’s life. It is the duty of you as a parent to teach your child to have a healthy attitude towards sex and allied issues. Your child should have a positive perspective about the members of opposite sex.
Discuss: The children in general find it difficult to talk to the parents about the changes that occur in their body. Under this circumstance, it is the duty of you as a parent to start the discussion. If the child brings up a question regarding any sexual issue, instead of scolding him make him understand. If you don’t do it then he will try to find out from other sources like friends and internet by which he may be led in a wrong path.
Tags: approach towards sex, sexual diseases, sexuality
Posted in Parenting | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, October 12th, 2010
It is the responsibility and duty of each and every parent to motivate their children internally, build the self esteem of the child and make them feel loved. If this is done they will not turn to gangs, drugs or sex to feel the power or belong.
Here I want to share with you the simple but effective keys which will help you as a parent to provide your children a sense of well-being and security.
Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)
Your Child’s self esteem is greatly influenced by the quality time you spend with him and not the amount of time you spend with him. Today with both the parents having their own career in front of them , very busy in their lives very often pretend to hear what the child is saying while actually think what next to do. This will reflect in the behavior of the child. If you don’t give your child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Remember, negative attention in a child’s mind is better than being ignored. Equally important is to recognize the feeling of your child.
Use Action, Not Words:
Instead of shouting at your child for not doing something or requesting him to do some thing again and again, it is better to show them with action. For example if you want him to make up the bed in the morning, leave the bed un-maked for the day. Or, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled.
Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
Each and every one wants to feel that he is important and powerful. If you give them means to show it they are comfortable. If you don’t they will feel neglected and unimportant. Some of the simple means to make them feel important are to ask their advice, give them choices, and let them help you balance your check book or help you shop.
Use Natural Consequences
Don’t interfere too much with the activities of your child. Let him face the consequences of his action and then learn by his mistakes. This will develop the self confidence in him. For example, if your child forgets to take his lunch to school don’t rush with it to the school after him. Let him manage a day with out his lunch box. Then he will know the value of remembering.
Use Logical Consequences
Some times the natural consequences are too far in future and it does not make sense for the child to wait till it happens. In that case try to use some logical consequence. For example, if your child has forgotten to return his video, instead of not allowing him to watch video for a week it is better that you return for him and deduct the amount (for late return) from his pocket money.
Withdraw from Conflict
Never conflict with your child. If at any point of time your child is being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to “Try again.” Do not leave in anger or defeat.
Separate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell your child that he is bad! That tears at his self-esteem. Even if does some thing which you do not appreciate let him know that his action is bad but do not say he is bad. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him
Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time
Always be kind with your child. That does not mean that you always give in to your child’s tantrums or needs. Let your child know that you love him but at the same time put your foot down and be firm on issues you do not want him to act.
Be Consistent, Follow Through
Be firm and stay with what you have said before. Do not keep wavering with your talks and promises. For example you have agreed that your child will watch T. V. for 11/2 hours a day, keep the time fixed what ever the matter is. Do not give in to his demand of allowing him to watch more as his favorite match is on air or his favorite movie is on air. Do not give in to his tears, pleas, demands. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.
Some changes in daily routine which will help your child to build his self esteem:
- Eating Right. Give your child a proper and balanced diet and at proper time. This will enable your child to stay healthy which is very necessary in building the self esteem.
- Avoid putting pressure on your child. Stress will poison his body and mind and making it that much more difficult to maintain a positive attitude. Train your child in relaxation techniques such as yoga and meditation, which can help to ease stress and balance mind and body so that he feels more at peace and better able to handle whatever life throws at him.
- Give proper and full attention when ever you are conversing with him.
- Take his views and advice on some important decisions you are taking.
Tags: Confidence, Good behavior, Self Esteem
Posted in Parenting | 14 Comments »
Friday, February 12th, 2010
Learning to speak is a natural process which follows a set pattern among all the children. Generally it is seen that even an infant turns his head to see in the direction of the noise. So it is a proven fact that speech and hearing goes together. The child will tend to speak those words which he hears. What ever he hears gets embedded in his mind and increases his vocabulary and he uses them in his speech. Normal speech development covers a wide range of styles. It is common to notice that some children speak clearly but say very little; others chatter away the whole day, but in a language which others may find hard to understand. In general, if a two-year-old child understands what is said to her, and communicates using gestures and facial expressions and pronounces some words then there is no need to worry.
It is seen quite common that children start talking at the age of two. But it is common to find that 14-20% of pre school children have problem with their speech pattern though this may last only for few more years and there is nothing much to worry. But some times it may so happen that it carries on for a longer time and it becomes a point of concern as they may be thought as retarded.
There are two sets of children who do not start to speak at proper time. One set of children show drawn-out within themselves and another set who show intelligence and excellent mental capacities. A parent can assess how well his child speaks by looking into his speech pattern and talking note of his vocabulary, fluency, articulation, comprehension, voice etc There is a need to worry about the first set of children and they may be retarded while the second set of children are quite normal with a high amount of intelligence. Both these set of children should be handled with care love and affection.
Extra care should be placed while handling the second set as they may be very often treated as retarded children and their ambition being shattered. We have to find out the reasons why such children who show a high amount of intelligence do not speak properly. It has been proved that if the child is feeling that he is not being listened properly and is ignored then he tends to talk less. It is because’ If they feel that parents and others are focusing not on what they say, but how they say it, they may come to feel they’re being attacked for expressing their feelings and thoughts, which can have negative emotional consequences” as quoted by Jayne Comins.
If the child is speaking less or very few words it is not a cause to be panicked but you can very easily tackle this problem by showing care and affection and making him feel secure. The more secure he feels the more he will try to express. Some times it may also happen that the child tries to speak out some thing which he finds difficult and is being made fun of then he will never try to speak out those words again as he will feel humiliated. That is why it is clearly said that the child should feel secure and safe so that he can express himself freely.
It is really difficult to say why the speech pattern differs -Why some child speak early and some late; some are chatter box while some speak very less. It may be due to any of the following reasons-normal delay, late speech development, genetic problem, Social/environmental, Emotional trauma, Neurological, Repeated ear infections, Dyspraxia or it may be concentrating on some other development like motor development.
But whatever the reason is -Routine developmental checks as a toddler may help in preventing early speech problems.
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Tags: language delopment, speech development
Posted in Parenting | 8 Comments »
Friday, January 8th, 2010
When the mother feeds the baby with the milk produced by her body through the breast, it is called as breast feeding. Now is this breast feeding important is the next question which arises and many wrong notions that have been developed with regards to breast feeding.
Benefits of Breast feeding to the Mothers:
Many young mothers do not want to breast feed their babies so as they don’t disfigure themselves. But this is extremely wrong. Actually it so happens that your body is shaped by breast feeding which has been disfigured due to pregnancy. Here are the other benefits for the mothers.
- Mothers who breast feed their babies have less risk of ovarian cancer.
- Breast feeding diabetic mothers need less insulin
- Hormones released during breast feed increase the bonding between the baby and the mother.
- Breast feeding the babies immediately after delivery results in quick contracting of the uterus and result in less blood loss.
Benefits to the Baby:
Breast Feeding is not only beneficial to the mother but also to your child in the following ways:
- It contains all the necessary nutrients needed by the baby:
It is the complete food required by the baby. All the proteins, fats, carbohydrates vitamins and minerals which a baby needs to grow is present in the breast milk that too in the required proportion. So you need not worry about the balanced diet
- The baby can digest it easily:
As the breast milk is easily digestible it will lead to less stomach upset. Even the stools which are passed by the babies who are breast fed are less smelly when compared to those who are not breast fed. It is soft too. All this will help in building the body of the baby.
- It is the main source of providing the required immunity for the baby:
Breast milk helps the baby to fight against the diseases like diarrhea, common cold, other common illness. A non-breastfed baby is 15 times more likely to get diarrhea and 3 times more likely to get respiratory problem. If babies are fed with animal milk they are more likely to get allergies. It is because along with the milk the immunities are transferred from the mother to the baby.
- It is readily available for the baby and that too at the right temperature!
No preparation is required for the breast milk. You can provide it any where at anyplace and at any time. No head ache of boiling the milk and cooling the same. There is no tension of boiling the bottles or cleaning them!
More over if you breast feed your child you make him feel secured as your love flows at the maximum height at the time of breast feeding. You will also be able to pass on love, affection and warmth to your baby. It is also a common practice found among the mothers who breast feed their children that they keep on talking to their baby which will in turn increase the vocabulary of the babies.
The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding for up to two years or beyond and exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life.
Some herbs which helps in increasing the breast milk :
- Shatavari. A popular herb in India and China, it has gained attention in North America recently. Shatavari is generally used to improve women’s reproductive health, but it has been shown to increase lactation as well sometimes with extraordinary results.
- Goat’s Rue. Also called French Lilac or Holy Hay, this herb is being used by moms hoping to increase their milk supplies. It is especially recommended for moms who are breastfeeding after reduction surgery since it has been reputed to build and repair breast tissue as well as increase milk production.
Tags: body shape, Breast feed, Parenting
Posted in Parenting | 2 Comments »
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